HOLY OVARIES! There’s a war on men. Phyllis Schlafly’s daughter Suzanne Venker has done some research, written three books, and is now weighing in on the gender war. Oh, and guess what. She’s finally discovered what was known in the ’90s, as the third year of the second decade of the 21st century dawns.
The so-called dearth of good men (read: marriageable men) has been a hot subject in the media as of late. Much of the coverage has been in response to the fact that for the first time in history, women have become the majority of the U.S. workforce. They’re also getting most of the college degrees. The problem? This new phenomenon has changed the dance between men and women.
Seriously? Like, who knew? Women no longer requiring men to pay their bills leaves the weaker man child, not to be confused with the stronger feminist male model who appreciates an equal partnership and simultaneous organism and the gismos that make them possible into midlife, bereft of purpose.
I’m like so surprised the offspring of Phyllis Schlafly has had a epiphany that resulted in rendering old news. Not only that but offering information that I first wrote back in the ’90s, then again in the 2000s and most recently in my book.
As the author of three books on the American family and its intersection with pop culture, I’ve spent thirteen years examining social agendas as they pertain to sex, parenting, and gender roles. During this time, I’ve spoken with hundreds, if not thousands, of men and women. And in doing so, I’ve accidentally stumbled upon a subculture of men who’ve told me, in no uncertain terms, that they’re never getting married. When I ask them why, the answer is always the same.
Women aren’t women anymore.
[...] But what if the dearth of good men, and ongoing battle of the sexes, is – hold on to your seats – women’s fault?
“It’s all the woman’s fault” isn’t exactly a new concept. I’ve been talking about it for over a decade.
As an author and former relationship consultant at the LA Weekly, going back into the mid-90s for that one, I did well over 11 years of investigating the mating habits of women and men, excavating the subjects of relationship, mating, dating and marriage. I’ve interviewed just about every type of person, which has sent me to all quarters and levels of human interaction, including deep inside the adult industry, the sex trade, 900 lines, you name it. I’ve listened to “a subculture of men” myself, and I’ll stack up anything I’ve learned against a right wing relationship evangelist proclaiming it’s all the woman’s fault BECAUSE “WOMEN AREN’T WOMEN ANYMORE.”
The men starring in Ms. Venker’s period soap opera have the same problem many in the American work force has today, they need to tune up and retool as the culture changes, something that Tom Edsall pointed to recently in the New York Times. It’s not the good old days when men ruled at work and at home, with the little woman waiting on his every permission.
Women now have their own cash, so they have options, a lot of them, none of which has anything to do with femininity, which doesn’t evaporate with money or power, unless, of course, the man’s a weakling.
Ms. Venker’s in as deep denial as the men with whom she allegedly spoke. The same breed who just took a lashing in the November elections. That (thankfully) dying boy’s club of tikes who cling to the belief in separate roles and worlds for men and women, with the latter always genuflecting to the former, a time that’s long gone with the wind.
Yet in Venker’s world, it’s a pity party for the patriarchy.
You’ll never hear that in the media. All the articles and books (and television programs, for that matter) put women front and center, while men and children sit in the back seat. But after decades of browbeating the American male, men are tired. Tired of being told there’s something fundamentally wrong with them. Tired of being told that if women aren’t happy, it’s men’s fault.
Contrary to what feminists like Hanna Rosin, author of The End of Men, say, the so-called rise of women has not threatened men. It has pissed them off. It has also undermined their ability to become self-sufficient in the hopes of someday supporting a family. Men want to love women, not compete with them. They want to provide for and protect their families – it’s in their DNA. But modern women won’t let them.
It’s all so unfortunate – for women, not men. Feminism serves men very well: they can have sex at hello and even live with their girlfriends with no responsibilities whatsoever.
It’s the women who lose. Not only are they saddled with the consequences of sex, by dismissing male nature they’re forever seeking a balanced life. The fact is, women need men’s linear career goals – they need men to pick up the slack at the office – in order to live the balanced life they seek.
The damage being done by this sentimentalist nostalgia for the Leave It To Beaver days that weren’t nearly as rosy as they’re being remembered by men, because it was a time women were dominated and domiciled, is now being rewritten as a moment when men were men and women knew their place.
Poor boys, they never had it so good when women had it bad.
It’s more than a little ironic that this Phyllis Schlafly torch is being passed to her progeny at the exact instant Republicans got handed their hat in the presidential election. The shift leaving Venker’s men disconsolate seen in the demographics of single women walking away from the Republican Party by solid double digits, part of what’s being called the “Rising American Electorate (RAE)”.
Never fear, cries Venker! Women can heal what ails men, to “turn everything around.” Just “surrender” to your “nature,” your ” femininity – and let men surrender to theirs.”
Need a modern translation?
Women have the power and it’s screwing with the male ego, so it’s a war on men.
To right the world, all we need to do now is give our power back.
TM NOTE: My husband and I haven’t had any quality time together since our honeymoon. That’s exactly 10 years ago this week. So, we’re taking some much earned, well deserved and longed for time off together. I may pop in occasionally to chat, but mostly, this week is about celebrating 10 years of marriage, something that I never anticipated would be part of my life. After all, I was a committed bachelorette, getting married late in life, at a moment in time when Susan Faludi said it would be easier to be hit by terrorists or something like that. The best personal decision of my life was rolling the dice on the man I married, who wouldn’t take no for an answer. I warned him about my 24/7 working life and my intent to change my corner of the world, no matter the sacrifice or what it would take, but he jumped in anyway. I am so lucky that he did and couldn’t ask for a stronger feminist partner. Mark has completed the education I began when I started excavating the world of dating, mating and marriage back in the ’90s, teaching me more about relationships than anyone else in my life. It’s been a great ride so far with him. Thanks for understanding and coming back to check out what Joyce will have to say this week. Now, it’s off to have some fun with my man!