HOLY OVARIES! There’s a war on men. Phyllis Schlafly’s daughter Suzanne Venker has done some research, written three books, and is now weighing in on the gender war. Oh, and guess what. She’s finally discovered what was known in the ’90s, as the third year of the second decade of the 21st century dawns.
The so-called dearth of good men (read: marriageable men) has been a hot subject in the media as of late. Much of the coverage has been in response to the fact that for the first time in history, women have become the majority of the U.S. workforce. They’re also getting most of the college degrees. The problem? This new phenomenon has changed the dance between men and women.
Seriously? Like, who knew? Women no longer requiring men to pay their bills leaves the weaker man child, not to be confused with the stronger feminist male model who appreciates an equal partnership and simultaneous organism and the gismos that make them possible into midlife, bereft of purpose.
I’m like so surprised the offspring of Phyllis Schlafly has had a epiphany that resulted in rendering old news. Not only that but offering information that I first wrote back in the ’90s, then again in the 2000s and most recently in my book.
As the author of three books on the American family and its intersection with pop culture, I’ve spent thirteen years examining social agendas as they pertain to sex, parenting, and gender roles. During this time, I’ve spoken with hundreds, if not thousands, of men and women. And in doing so, I’ve accidentally stumbled upon a subculture of men who’ve told me, in no uncertain terms, that they’re never getting married. When I ask them why, the answer is always the same.
Women aren’t women anymore.
[...] But what if the dearth of good men, and ongoing battle of the sexes, is – hold on to your seats – women’s fault?
“It’s all the woman’s fault” isn’t exactly a new concept. I’ve been talking about it for over a decade.
As an author and former relationship consultant at the LA Weekly, going back into the mid-90s for that one, I did well over 11 years of investigating the mating habits of women and men, excavating the subjects of relationship, mating, dating and marriage. I’ve interviewed just about every type of person, which has sent me to all quarters and levels of human interaction, including deep inside the adult industry, the sex trade, 900 lines, you name it. I’ve listened to “a subculture of men” myself, and I’ll stack up anything I’ve learned against a right wing relationship evangelist proclaiming it’s all the woman’s fault BECAUSE “WOMEN AREN’T WOMEN ANYMORE.”
Spare me.
The men starring in Ms. Venker’s period soap opera have the same problem many in the American work force has today, they need to tune up and retool as the culture changes, something that Tom Edsall pointed to recently in the New York Times. It’s not the good old days when men ruled at work and at home, with the little woman waiting on his every permission.
Women now have their own cash, so they have options, a lot of them, none of which has anything to do with femininity, which doesn’t evaporate with money or power, unless, of course, the man’s a weakling.
Ms. Venker’s in as deep denial as the men with whom she allegedly spoke. The same breed who just took a lashing in the November elections. That (thankfully) dying boy’s club of tikes who cling to the belief in separate roles and worlds for men and women, with the latter always genuflecting to the former, a time that’s long gone with the wind.
Yet in Venker’s world, it’s a pity party for the patriarchy.
You’ll never hear that in the media. All the articles and books (and television programs, for that matter) put women front and center, while men and children sit in the back seat. But after decades of browbeating the American male, men are tired. Tired of being told there’s something fundamentally wrong with them. Tired of being told that if women aren’t happy, it’s men’s fault.
Contrary to what feminists like Hanna Rosin, author of The End of Men, say, the so-called rise of women has not threatened men. It has pissed them off. It has also undermined their ability to become self-sufficient in the hopes of someday supporting a family. Men want to love women, not compete with them. They want to provide for and protect their families – it’s in their DNA. But modern women won’t let them.
It’s all so unfortunate – for women, not men. Feminism serves men very well: they can have sex at hello and even live with their girlfriends with no responsibilities whatsoever.
It’s the women who lose. Not only are they saddled with the consequences of sex, by dismissing male nature they’re forever seeking a balanced life. The fact is, women need men’s linear career goals – they need men to pick up the slack at the office – in order to live the balanced life they seek.
The damage being done by this sentimentalist nostalgia for the Leave It To Beaver days that weren’t nearly as rosy as they’re being remembered by men, because it was a time women were dominated and domiciled, is now being rewritten as a moment when men were men and women knew their place.
Poor boys, they never had it so good when women had it bad.
It’s more than a little ironic that this Phyllis Schlafly torch is being passed to her progeny at the exact instant Republicans got handed their hat in the presidential election. The shift leaving Venker’s men disconsolate seen in the demographics of single women walking away from the Republican Party by solid double digits, part of what’s being called the “Rising American Electorate (RAE)”.
Never fear, cries Venker! Women can heal what ails men, to “turn everything around.” Just “surrender” to your “nature,” your ” femininity – and let men surrender to theirs.”
Need a modern translation?
Women have the power and it’s screwing with the male ego, so it’s a war on men.
To right the world, all we need to do now is give our power back.
TM NOTE: My husband and I haven’t had any quality time together since our honeymoon. That’s exactly 10 years ago this week. So, we’re taking some much earned, well deserved and longed for time off together. I may pop in occasionally to chat, but mostly, this week is about celebrating 10 years of marriage, something that I never anticipated would be part of my life. After all, I was a committed bachelorette, getting married late in life, at a moment in time when Susan Faludi said it would be easier to be hit by terrorists or something like that. The best personal decision of my life was rolling the dice on the man I married, who wouldn’t take no for an answer. I warned him about my 24/7 working life and my intent to change my corner of the world, no matter the sacrifice or what it would take, but he jumped in anyway. I am so lucky that he did and couldn’t ask for a stronger feminist partner. Mark has completed the education I began when I started excavating the world of dating, mating and marriage back in the ’90s, teaching me more about relationships than anyone else in my life. It’s been a great ride so far with him. Thanks for understanding and coming back to check out what Joyce will have to say this week. Now, it’s off to have some fun with my man!
Don’t forget to have safe sex!
” it’s a pity party for the patriarchy.” Nice, golf claps all around for Ms Marsh.
The “War on Men” exists entirely on sitcoms and commercials, where every guy is a clueless, sex-driven doofus who would probably kill himself in a thousand different ways over the course of the day if not for the smart, sensible woman in his life forever pulling him back from the brink.
And even this “War on Men” is mediated by the fact that every ugly male doofus on television has mysteriously managed to land himself a wife that is as witty and intelligent as she is hot. There’s no problem seeing who the target audience is, or guessing at the sex of the writers.
I don’t know how real the “War on Women” is, but the idea of a “War on Men” is about as nonsensical as the annual “War on Christmas” on FOX.
“I don’t know how real the “War on Women” is”
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! How about what DAY it is? Any clue about that? OR easier…is it Day or NIGHT outside….no, no…go ahead and look out the window…still aren’t sure? BWAHAHAHA!
Typical illiterate spittle rather than a reply; what I’ve come to expect from you.
I’m seriously so damned sick of your obnoxious childishness, you’ve single-handedly wrecked this site for me. So enjoy it, I’m done.
“I don’t know how real the “War on Women” is”
Frankly that statement got all the reply it deserved or required. The rest was an honest inquiry regarding your powers of observation that so clearly are somewhat…compromised.
Those lucky men of the good old days often wore themselves out trying to live this magical
“the man will take care of the wife and kids” mentality. Many of them spent years coming home angry and depressed which was then taken out on the family (I’m blaming the culture here, not the people who tried to live this often impossible lifestye). Lots of them died fairly young and unsatisfied. It really wasn’t that great as I recall.
It’s probably fine those terribly misunderstood men won’t ever marry, and hopefully not procreate. We have enough whiny old white men (and I’m an old white man).
Sociologically speaking it isn’t surprising there continues to be some push back as we evolve here. It helps when the push back comes primarily from folks who have no idea what they are talking about. Their data tends to be “Well, they said so”.
“It’s probably fine those terribly misunderstood men won’t ever marry, and hopefully not procreate.”
Really, SOMEbody has to supply the next generation of wingnut talk show hosts.
Taylor-I am picking myself up off the floor having have a laughter seizure reading this. It is a funny as it is brilliant!
This is no doubt one of your best and worthy of framing. I am going to print it out and make copies every time I run into a guy crying into his beer about how much women suck.
“pity party for the patriarchy” PRICELESS!!!!
You have a wonderful time with your hubby. There are many of us single for a very long time women out here who are still women, just more of what we always were by allowing those great parts of ourselves to grow that pity-man-posse kept trying to beat down. So if you have any suggestions on where to find a man who wants to be a woman’s man and not her daddy, I am very interested in knowing where I can find one.
“WOMEN AREN’T WOMEN ANYMORE.”
Depending on your definition of just WOMEN actually ARE that’s a pretty good thing!!! If you hold a repugnantklan/teabagger/UBERChristianfascist world view……..guess you’re cryin in yer beer BIG time!!!
Myself, Happy as a clam on an unpolluted beach!!!
Ms. Marsh…HAVE FUN!!!!! I to got married late in life too and it has been the best time of my life. Not to say it hasn’t also provided some of the most deeply PAINFUL moments as well…but like the song sez…”laden with happiness and tears!”
TM, congratulations on 10 years of marriage. Enjoy your conjugal week off.
I find the whole story really ironic. That piece sounds like it came verbatim out of her own mother’s mouth. The only thing I do think she’s right about is the fact that men don’t want to compete with women. It’s not because they want to “love” them but because they are seeing that when competing with women a lot of times the women will win.
Blessings to you and your husband Taylor. I hope you have a wonderful week with your sweet and understanding hubby. Judging by his perseverance in getting you to marry him, he must know a good thing when he sees it!
Congrats to you and your husband!
Have fun on your vacation, Taylor, and congratulations.
Now, don’t forget, everyone. We need to remember where everything was before they left…