Joyce L. Arnold: Liberal, lesbian, Independent, equality activist, writer.
Over the years I’ve come to think perhaps there is a Heterosexual Agenda, mostly if not exclusively held by those who have a great deal to say about what they insist is the “Homosexual Agenda.” The Hetero Agenda folks keep shoving it in our faces. See below for recent examples.
Let’s start with Rick Santorum, who recently came up with several ways to talk about his opposition to marriage between same-gender couples. In the last couple of weeks, Santorum has said that marriage is 1) like a napkin, not a paper towel; 2) like tea, not basketball; and 3) like water, not beer.
The Advocate reports that in a grocery store in Iowa, “Santorum appears to yank a brown piece of paper … from a nearby dispenser.” And then says:
‘This is a napkin. … I can call this napkin a paper towel, … (b)ut it is a napkin. And why? Because it is what it is.’ …
Santorum said his reasoning was ‘sort of the metaphysical. Right?’ …
‘So when people come out and say that marriage is something else — … marriage of five people, five, 10, 20. Marriage can be between fathers and daughters … between any two people, any four people, any 10 people, it can be any kind of relationship and we can call it marriage. But it doesn’t make it marriage.’
Apparently he liked the “metaphysical,” analogy idea, but next time changed it around. Meeting with the Des Moines Register, Santorum said (via Think Progress):
‘It’s like saying this glass of water is a glass of beer. Well, you can call it a glass of beer, but it’s not a glass of beer. It’s a glass of water. And water is what water is. Marriage is what marriage is.’
Also via Think Progress, “during an appearance in Iowa, (Santorum) explained that ‘calling same-sex marriage a marriage would be like calling a cup of tea a basketball.’”
Santorum is far from alone in his Heterosexual Agenda pronouncements. Rep. Allen West (R-FL) recently claimed that homosexuality is like choosing a flavor of ice cream. In an interview with the Sun-Sentinel, as reported by Think Progress:
Q: ‘Do you think gay people should change their behavior?’
WEST: ‘I like chocolate chip ice cream, and I will continue to like chocolate chip ice cream. So there’s no worry about me changing to vanilla. I like to, you know, ride my motorcycle. What do you want me to do? You want me to change my behavior and ride a scooter? I’m not into that.’
Maybe that’s “metaphysical,” too.
And maybe that’s how we should understand Michele Bachmann’s Hetero Agenda proclamations. Her mentor is John Eidsmoe. According to Right Wing Watch, Eidsmoe “encourage(s) Christians to enter politics in order to introduce and impose biblical law.”
Eidsmoe explains that ‘gay liberation’ may be the most pernicious ‘attack upon the family’ because it not only tears families apart but can doom all of society. He … warns that ‘the more widespread homosexuality becomes, the greater the likelihood that homosexuals will recruit our children into homosexuality … .
The Heterosexual Agenda is really big on that “recruitment” thing, I suppose because it’s the only way they can “explain” the presence of LGBTs. Although that view has always made me wonder how its proponents explain the very first “homosexual.” I mean, who did the recruiting?
As much as I’d like to ignore Rick Perry, he’s made that impossible. He’s also made his support of the Heterosexual Agenda quite clear. In 2003, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in Lawrence v. Texas that enforcement of the “homosexual conduct” law was unconstitutional. It’s unenforceable, but the law remains on the state’s books, and the Texas Republican Party platform includes this (via Mother Jones):
We oppose the legalization of sodomy. We demand that Congress exercise its authority granted by the U.S. Constitution to withhold jurisdiction from the federal courts from cases involving sodomy.
According to Mother Jones, Perry has “offered his support for the ban on homosexual conduct, stating in 2002, ‘I think our law is appropriate that we have on the books.’” At least he doesn’t use napkins or ice cream to make his point.
Linda Harvey of Mission America regularly reveals the Heterosexual Agenda. Early this week, via Right Wing Watch:
Kids should not be put in the confusing position of having a teacher they like and respect in many ways who’s also known to be practicing homosexual behavior.
And talk about confusing, last week GOProud, a Republican gay group, announced that Ann Coulter was joining their Advisory Council as Honorary Chair. And seriously, her title is “Gay Icon.” Then on Sunday, Coulter appeared on C-SPAN2’s “Book TV,” promoting her latest, Demonic: How the Liberal Mob is Endangering America. GOProud spends as much if not more time bashing other LGBTs as they do the “liberal mob,” but mixing Coulter with GOProud is a very strange agenda in itself. Via On Top Magazine, Coulter said in her “Book TV” interview:
If you’re born gay, why would you be a liberal? … And gays are a demographic group that have one of the highest incomes in America, they are victims of crimes, the Muslims don’t think too highly of them, so, you know, basically the entire Republican platform is fighting the same causes any sane gay person should care about and the entire Democratic platform is sucking up to soccer moms and women who want abortions. What do you care about that for gay person? Abortion isn’t at the top of your list, I’m guessing.
And by the way, as soon as liberals find a gay gene, guess who’s going to get aborted?
So, I think all gays who are born gay are overwhelmingly conservative, maybe apolitical, and all those angry gays causing trouble for everybody I don’t even think they were born gay, I think they’re just angry at their fathers.
Kind of makes napkins and ice cream sound thoughtful.
Final Point of Clarification: I do know that not all who openly identify as practicing heterosexuals agree with the Heterosexual Agenda. Not all heterosexuals are the same. We of Queerdom get that; we’re not all the same, either.
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