“I don’t want to continue in the category of mistress,” she was quoted as saying. “It has been really painful to me.” – Maria Belen Chapur [New York Times]
WHERE TO begin with this one? That’s easy. Any woman who finds herself having an affair with a married man who skips out on his responsibilities to his children, and an entire state of constituents, is asking for trouble. Leaving an important job because his emotions are so out of control he has to see you is not what a mature, grounded man does. So, if you’re buying anything he’s saying better strap in, because the crash will come. Eventually.
Too harsh? The truth usually is.
From the New York Times:
Ms. Chapur was speaking from Paris, where she had just spent a week with Mr. Sanford.
“We had a great time here, we were like in a honeymoon,” she said. “I thought that he might tell me, ‘O.K., let’s put a date, end of 2015.’ But that didn’t happen. That’s why I wrote to him, ‘I had a spectacular week, you know I love you, but I don’t want to continue in the category of mistress, and if we continue like this I continue in that category, and I can’t bear it anymore. It has been really painful to me.’ ”
She continued, “His response was, ’24 months. If not I’ll say goodbye and I will look for you in 24 months.’ ” She said she had asked him to make their break public, but that Mr. Sanford did not warn her before announcing it on Facebook on Friday, catching her off guard. “I learned it from the press today,” she said Saturday.
Believe it or not, this guy probably thought Ms. Chapur was giving him permission to end it!
If you haven’t weeded through Mark Sanford’s Facebook post, let’s just say it deserves a Saturday Night Live rendering.
Here is where I have settled:
I cannot do this anymore. In all life there comes a point wherein lines must be drawn in the way that we attempt to respond in ways that don’t invite more in the way of conflict and add more in the way of modeling Christ’s humility in giving in every instance. I’ll never get that mix right, none of us do, but I believe it’s what we are to pursue in all of our responses to the inevitable reality of conflict in our lives. [...]
[...] No relationship can stand forever this tension of being forced to pick between the one you love and your own son or daughter, and for this reason Belen and I have decided to call off the engagement. Maybe there will be another chapter when waters calm with Jenny, but at this point the environment is not conducive to building anything given no one would want to be caught in the middle of what’s now happening. Belen is a remarkably wonderful woman who I have always loved and I will be forever grateful for not only the many years we have known and loved each other, but the last six very tough ones wherein she has encouraged me and silently borne its tribulations with her ever warm and kind spirit.
Any woman who falls madly in love with a married man is in for a rough ride. I’ve been involved with one myself, as I talk about in my book, so let me tell you that it’s never easy. But getting involved with someone who has children and a wife he hasn’t divorced yet?
You are positively certifiable to even consider putting yourself in this situation.
Ask yourself a simple question: If a man doesn’t take care of children and a wife who’s been loyal to him, what do you think will happen to you?
The former Mrs. Sanford is putting her louse of a husband through hell and he deserves it.