Oh, Uncle Sugar, where are you?  I need some from daddy and I can't do anything until I get my birth control from you!

Mike Huckabee Republicans are very scared of liberated women.
Our sexual desires make men like Mike shrivel at the thought.

OH, UNCLE SUGAR! Answer the phone, please. I needs me more birth control, ‘cuz I’ve plum run out and Daddy Obama ain’t answerin’!

There have been shared whispers among modern ladies for over two decades that Republicans are secretly very scared of liberated women. Not just because we want to be equal economically, but because we are sexual beings who put pleasure before motherhood.

Conservatives are now trying to squirm out of the mess Huckabee’s made by saying he was talking about how Democrats feel about women, but we all know that walk back trick and it doesn’t pass the smell test.

Democrats are aiding women economically with free reproductive health care that includes preventative screening and birth control, not because they think we’re sluts, but because they know it’s a basic healthcare cost that drains the pockets of young women, and they’re trying to level the economic playing field a bit for us. Republicans are the ones who are fighting basic reproductive health care coverage, which hurts women.

The Washington Post captured Mike Huckabee’s speech at the GOP winter meeting. I was at Gold’s Gym working out when I heard the full quote, listening to SXM POTUS, and I almost dropped the bench press on my head when I heard it.

“I think it’s time Republicans no longer accept listening to the Democrats talk about a ‘war on women,'” Huckabee said during a speech at the Republican National Committee’s winter meeting in Washington. “The fact is the Republicans don’t have a war on women, they have a war for women, to empower them to be something other than victims of their gender.”

Huckabee said Democrats rely on women believing they are weaker than men and in need of government handouts, including the contraception mandate in Obamacare.

Huckabee said Democrats tell women “they are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and providing them for them a prescription each month for birth control because they cannot control their libido or their reproductive system without the help of government.”

Our desired is all so very unladylike.

Now Mike Huckabee has confirmed what we sensual feminists have always known about right-wing Republicans, especially the fervently religious type fanatics like Mike Huckabee. Barefoot and pregnant isn’t just a phrase to Mike. It’s the natural state intended for women.

It’s no coincidence Mike Huckabee let the true feelings of his tribe slip the day after the Roe v. Wade celebration, because the anti-women crowd on the right get all empowered when they’re thinking of taking women’s rights away. One wacko female fundamentalist even brought my beloved dead mother into a tweet to prove her righteousness and “right to life” bonafides. Nothing is sacred to these women and men, nothing, as they show their disrespect for the lives we choose to lead, even as we respect their right to choose otherwise.

See, for Huckabee Republicans, there is actually legitimate rape and, you know, that other type. Wink-wink. Come on, ladies, those times when you really want it.

For Huckabee Republicans, enjoying sex is for men. Ladies only do it for a reason, which is to become with child.

Pleasure is for pagans.

It’s these types of politicians, who control the U.S. House of Representatives and hope to control the Senate after November, who have set up the whole system to encourage the condescension of all women who demand equality. For Huckabee Republicans, a woman’s power is derived through meeting the man’s needs. A real woman puts herself second if she wants true happiness and validation, which can only come through her family.

I’ve written a whole book about this stuff, a subject on which I’m an expert, because I grew up in the volcano that exploded after this rubbish was revealed for what it was, a fantasy perpetrated on the American female to keep her quiet, sedated and subservient.

Our sexual desires make men like Mike Huckabee shrivel at the thought, which equates to the insatiable lust of a slut searching for satisfaction she can never find, because she’s lost the purpose of true womanhood. Huckabee has finally put into words the collective thoughts of the fervently and forever fearful “femininazi” crowd, from Limbaugh to Hannity to Sean’s mini me Mark Levin to Brit Hume.

Josh Marshall gets the Mike Huckabee quote of the day: Subtext: Female desire is scaaaaaaarrrrrrryyyyyyy …

Just as establishment Republicans were hoping to get beyond this crazy crowd, Mike Huckabee pulls the GOP back in.