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Marco Rubio Struck with Epic Dry Mouth, Grabs Desperately for Water

SOTUNC1050

WHAT’S WITH the gold curtains? I kept waiting for “This Republican address brought to you by Goldline.” But at least he passed the Bobby Jindal bar.

But I’ve never heard a worse case of dry mouth over nerves at this political level ever. Line after line it just got worse. At one point he couldn’t unstick his words from his mouth.

Then he did it. The grab for the water bottle. I’ve never seen anything like it from a professional politician. It was epically awkward.

Poland Spring immediately started trending on Twitter.

The lunge that will be seen ’round the world and remembered when the next candidate to rebut President Obama surfaces.

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9 Responses to Marco Rubio Struck with Epic Dry Mouth, Grabs Desperately for Water

  1. fangio February 12, 2013 at 11:34 pm #

    It’s all the lies; it catches up with you after a while.

  2. Marie205 February 12, 2013 at 11:35 pm #

    As someone who didn’t vote for Obama or Romney, I must admit I am finding the Republican melt down hilarious. Poor Rubio ambition fooled him into believing that he could take on Obama SOTU. Rubio was extremely nervous and suffered from cotton mouth…Anyone with a serious goal to run for president in 2016…my advice don’t follow behind Obama SOTU.

    One plus in his favor, he was not as bad as Jindal…LOL

  3. spincitysd February 13, 2013 at 6:56 am #

    Well, he has four years to live this down. Oh. Wait. My bad. He has less than two. The real sharp elbows begin right after the mid-terms in 2014. And is Jindal really the bar? That is like saying the bar for Air Flight Safety is the Hindenburg… oh, the humanity!

    • secularhumanizinevoluter February 13, 2013 at 9:54 am #

      “the bar for Air Flight Safety is the Hindenburg… oh, the humanity!”

      Oh SNAP!!! Only if you’re a repugnantKLAN/teabaggin/UBERChristofascist.

  4. angels81 February 13, 2013 at 9:18 am #

    Boy, that was pretty ugly. It was like watching someone running for high school president. Is this really the best the republicans have?

  5. newdealdem1 February 13, 2013 at 11:28 am #

    I was waiting for someone to make a gif of the “water watergate” incident. LOL

    One positive outcome from this was that it drowned out whatever Nugent had planned to do in his press coverage. Didn’t see or read anything about that creature after the Rubio gaferiffic

    Rubio was par-boiled on Twitter last night. The tweets were unstoppable. Even Osama bin Laden weighed in with hilarious this tweet:

    “Ever see me reach for water in one of my videos? Don’t think so. And that was in the f..king desert.”

    And, this poignant and spot on tweet from Joe Conason:

    “Ah. Marco is worried by “the moral breakdown in our society.” That’s why he voted against the Violence Against Women Act. ”

    Given Rubio’s very poor public performances these past months, what happened last night is not an outlier.

    However, what pols may have been able to live down in the “good old days” is gone with the Dodo. Media wasn’t omnipresent then and there was no internet where millions of anons can belittle a pol for sneezing the wrong way or startling TV viewers with uncouth water tricks. And, in those days pols had some time to readjust or at least live down their faux pas for the most part.

    Rubio is 42. He’s the internet and 24/7 news generation. And, if he didn’t realize just how brutal and unforgiving bad political performances are, that’s his fault and/or those who are “managing” and advising him and/or pushing him before he’s ready not only for prime time but at least for Sesame Street. His fierce ambition to rise to the top as fast as the speed of light trumps his talent. No matter how desperate the GOP and Koch Bros and all the other powers (TIME, Banksters) that be want this man to be POTUS, he’s clearly not prime beef.

    Yes, Clinton had a couple of faux pas before he became POTUS but to make a comparison between Clinton and Rubio: grasp of policy, innate political talent, and genius is like comparing Michaelangelo’s David to http://tinyurl.com/y9neps

    Rubio needs an extreme makeover. Are they still on TV? heh. The human edition has been cancelled but the home edition is still going strong.

    Today Rubio is a windswept, water-logged bungalow. Alas, the Mansion model is not in the cards for him but he can be remade into a cozy, utilitarian mobile home atop Poland Springs.

    Well, as others have said, at least he was somewhat better than Jindal but that bar is not very difficult to rise above.

    I would love to be a fly on the wall of the GOP leadership meeting this morning. Perhaps they should watch that great Robert Redford film “The Candidate” Greatest last line in any political film and one that still resonates today.

    From Wiki:

    “On election day, McKay (Redford) wins. In one of the movie’s famous scenes, he escapes the victory party and pulls Lucas into a room while throngs of journalists clamor outside. McKay asks Lucas (political adviser), “Marvin … What do we do now?” The media throng arrives to drag them out, and McKay never receives an answer”

    Indeed, Marvin, what do we do now.

    • Taylor Marsh February 13, 2013 at 11:40 am #

      Well said.

      There is NO excuse for Rubio & 21 other Republicans for voting against the VAWA.

  6. Jell-OH Schott February 13, 2013 at 1:36 pm #

    Maybe the nerves were due to the fact that every other word was a lie. Marco Rubio, working class hero! “Mr. President, I still live in the same working class neighborhood I grew up in. My neighbors aren’t millionaires. They’re retirees who depend on Social Security and Medicare. They’re workers who have to get up early every morning and go to work to pay the bills.” http://www.estately.com/listings/info/6060-sw-13-st

  7. jjamele February 13, 2013 at 1:48 pm #

    Yes, getting a dry mouth and having to take a drink definitely disqualifies Marco Rubio from every being taken seriously as a Presidential candidate.

    Can I assume that moments after his performance, he was executed, cremated, and his ashes scattered in an undisclosed location? And that his immediate family was crucified? That the name “Rubio” was scrubbed from all public records? Because needing a drink of water—I mean, wow. Obviously not presidential material. Ever.

    Everyone knows that the only qualification for President that matters is an ability to give a ten-minute statement in front of a camera without getting a dry mouth. Thank Goodness we caught this fatal flaw in Marco Rubio before he had a chance to inflict any more damage on us. I shudder to think what might have happened if he had ever come close to the levers of power– it’s too terrifying to comprehend.

    All that’s left to do now is to sow salt on the ground of his ancestors so that they vanish from the Earth and never threaten us in this way again. What a bullet we’ve just dodged.

    Thanks again, Taylor, for this explosive, hard-hitting, vital video and analysis. It’s amazing how often we’ve managed to just barely avoid electing a Manchurian Candidate with a fatal flaw which, if allowed to occupy the White House, would obviously plunge the human race into oblivion. BTW, I’ve heard rumors that Andrew Cuomo coughs occasionally, EVEN WHEN HE DOESN’T HAVE A COLD. I know you’ll be looking into it.

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