Better move your holiday plans up. If the Mayan Apocalypse occurs as predicted, it will be on December 21.

I think it’s more likely that rather than a cataclysmic ending, things will just keep getting better and better for fewer and fewer, and worse and worse for more and more. At some point the miniscule number at the top will look out from their enclosed, impregnable, indestructible, self-sustaining enclaves, and realize they don’t have anyone left to screw but each other.

But just in case, here’s a bit about the Mayan Apocalypse, from the Telegraph:

Ahead of December 21, which marks the conclusion of the 5,125-year “˜Long Count’ Mayan calendar, panic buying of candles and essentials has been reported in China and Russia, along with an explosion in sales of survival shelters in America. In France believers were preparing to converge on a mountain where they believe aliens will rescue them.

The precise manner of Armageddon remains vague, ranging from a catastrophic celestial collision between Earth and the mythical planet Nibiru, also known as Planet X, a disastrous crash with a comet, or the annihilation of civilisation by a giant solar storm.

I did some “research,” and discovered 2012 Apocalypse, where I learned that while things could get really bad, there is a bright side. First, the bad:

The Mayan grand cycle of evolution will culminate on December 21, 2012 AD. The 2012 Apocalypse.

This time now has many names “˜The Time of Trial on Earth,’ … “˜The Time of Great Purification,’ … “˜The Apocalypse’ and “˜Armageddon’.

However, all will not be lost, at least for some.

It is foretold that the completion of the Mayan Calendar brings regeneration of Earth, offering an awakening to all with open hearts and minds. …

Undoubtedly the Transition from the Age of Pisces, our present age, to The Age of Aquarius will be earth shattering. …

But, it will be followed by the Age of Aquarius, a world “with all its splendor and beauty.”

My in-depth study of the Mayan Apocalypse also brought me to a piece by James F. McGrath, at Patheos. Before reading the selection below, note this related to the article:

[DISCLAIMER: The above post is intended as satire. Anyone suffering from SDDS (Satire-Detector-Deficiency Syndrome) should not read it.]

Snippet:

Too many undiscerning Christians (apparently including the majority of those who live in Russia) have been duped and thus fail to realize that the Mayan prediction of the end of the world on December 21st 2012 is simply another salvo in the war on Christmas. You don’t think the ancient Mayans set the date for the apocalypse so close to the day we celebrate Jesus’ birth just by accident, do you?

The aim is presumably to prevent people from buying present, putting up decorations, or drinking too much, out of concern either that they will be ill-prepared for the apocalypse, or that their efforts will be wasted.

I therefore call upon all Christians everywhere to not allow this attack on Christmas to set them back.