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Mayan Apocalypse Coming December 21 (VIDEO)

Better move your holiday plans up. If the Mayan Apocalypse occurs as predicted, it will be on December 21.

I think it’s more likely that rather than a cataclysmic ending, things will just keep getting better and better for fewer and fewer, and worse and worse for more and more. At some point the miniscule number at the top will look out from their enclosed, impregnable, indestructible, self-sustaining enclaves, and realize they don’t have anyone left to screw but each other.

But just in case, here’s a bit about the Mayan Apocalypse, from the Telegraph:

Ahead of December 21, which marks the conclusion of the 5,125-year ‘Long Count’ Mayan calendar, panic buying of candles and essentials has been reported in China and Russia, along with an explosion in sales of survival shelters in America. In France believers were preparing to converge on a mountain where they believe aliens will rescue them.

The precise manner of Armageddon remains vague, ranging from a catastrophic celestial collision between Earth and the mythical planet Nibiru, also known as Planet X, a disastrous crash with a comet, or the annihilation of civilisation by a giant solar storm.

I did some “research,” and discovered 2012 Apocalypse, where I learned that while things could get really bad, there is a bright side. First, the bad:

The Mayan grand cycle of evolution will culminate on December 21, 2012 AD. The 2012 Apocalypse.

This time now has many names ‘The Time of Trial on Earth,’ … ‘The Time of Great Purification,’ … ‘The Apocalypse’ and ‘Armageddon’.

However, all will not be lost, at least for some.

It is foretold that the completion of the Mayan Calendar brings regeneration of Earth, offering an awakening to all with open hearts and minds. …

Undoubtedly the Transition from the Age of Pisces, our present age, to The Age of Aquarius will be earth shattering. …

But, it will be followed by the Age of Aquarius, a world “with all its splendor and beauty.”

My in-depth study of the Mayan Apocalypse also brought me to a piece by James F. McGrath, at Patheos. Before reading the selection below, note this related to the article:

[DISCLAIMER: The above post is intended as satire. Anyone suffering from SDDS (Satire-Detector-Deficiency Syndrome) should not read it.]


Too many undiscerning Christians (apparently including the majority of those who live in Russia) have been duped and thus fail to realize that the Mayan prediction of the end of the world on December 21st 2012 is simply another salvo in the war on Christmas. You don’t think the ancient Mayans set the date for the apocalypse so close to the day we celebrate Jesus’ birth just by accident, do you?

The aim is presumably to prevent people from buying present, putting up decorations, or drinking too much, out of concern either that they will be ill-prepared for the apocalypse, or that their efforts will be wasted.

I therefore call upon all Christians everywhere to not allow this attack on Christmas to set them back.

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4 Responses to Mayan Apocalypse Coming December 21 (VIDEO)

  1. secularhumanizinevoluter December 9, 2012 at 8:41 am #

    The capacity for believing utter male bovine fecal matter by a large portion of the human family will never cease to amaze and sadden me.
    Fundamentalists of ANY religion, the whackos all a twitter over this nonsense,climate change deniers,creationists you name it if there is a stupid non-reality based bull pucky line out there they will flock to grab ahold and be drug to the cleaners.
    As a species we are doomed.

  2. Cujo359 December 9, 2012 at 2:38 pm #

    To me, this is like the Y2K thing all over again, for similar reasons. The “Y2K” drama was brought about due to a limitation in how MS-DOS software kept track of time. The programmers of that time were more concerned with getting what they could out of 64k of RAM and an 8 bit processor with 16 bit pretensions. They figured that twenty years in the future, someone would have a workaround, which as it turns out we did. Yet people built apocalyptic cults around this issue. The Mayans worked out a calender system that worked far into their future, no doubt figuring that when the time came, someone would make adjustments and go on. Once again, there is a perfectly logical reason for why things were the way they were, but people still built apocalyptic cults around the issue.

  3. mjsmith December 9, 2012 at 9:14 pm #

    Let me take this quote way out of context – “the Mayan prediction of the end of the world on December 21st 2012 ”

    The Mayan’s were way off. THeir world ended a couple hundred years ago. Just think, they could of saved so much time carving up all those extra centuries on their calendars.

    Can’t blame them for being optimistic.

  4. spincitysd December 10, 2012 at 4:24 am #

    I damn tiered of the Mayans and their Long Count Calendar. This end of the world nonsense is both scientifically and ethnographically so wrong in so many ways. Good gravy the crap we come up with to distract ourselves from the real issues that need to be discussed.

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and turns her into a virgin again.  ~ erica jong