THE WOMAN who suffered a broken nose and a fractured face when Patrick Moran was seen to “grab the back of her head with his hand and slam her head into a metal trash can cage,” a verbatim description from eye witnesses in the report, has released a statement through daddy Moran’s office and it’s a whopper.

“This was an accident that has been blown out of proportion,” she says. “The statements in the police report are inaccurate. Pat and I were arguing, one of my high heels gave out, and I fell into the side of a trashcan. On impact, I fractured my nose. False conclusions were made as a result. I hope our privacy will be respected.”

I’ve had my high heels give out, too. I never suffered a fractured face and broken nose because of it.

Nor did I have my boyfriend plead guilty to assault because of my injury, which since it’s being called an “accident” by Congressman Moran’s office and the woman involved leads to something even more sinister.

It must mean Patrick Moran’s assault was on the gal’s poor high heels. How… Could… He? A girl’s high heels are sacred things! The monster.

Sympathies go out from the TM family for the undo violence against an assuming pair of pretty pumps.

Let’s hope the next time Patrick Moran and his girlfriend are out and she gets jealous and confronts him she’s wearing flats.