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Jim Moran’s Son and the Case of the Assaulted High Heels

THE WOMAN who suffered a broken nose and a fractured face when Patrick Moran was seen to “grab the back of her head with his hand and slam her head into a metal trash can cage,” a verbatim description from eye witnesses in the report, has released a statement through daddy Moran’s office and it’s a whopper.

“This was an accident that has been blown out of proportion,” she says. “The statements in the police report are inaccurate. Pat and I were arguing, one of my high heels gave out, and I fell into the side of a trashcan. On impact, I fractured my nose. False conclusions were made as a result. I hope our privacy will be respected.”

I’ve had my high heels give out, too. I never suffered a fractured face and broken nose because of it.

Nor did I have my boyfriend plead guilty to assault because of my injury, which since it’s being called an “accident” by Congressman Moran’s office and the woman involved leads to something even more sinister.

It must mean Patrick Moran’s assault was on the gal’s poor high heels. How… Could… He? A girl’s high heels are sacred things! The monster.

Sympathies go out from the TM family for the undo violence against an assuming pair of pretty pumps.

Let’s hope the next time Patrick Moran and his girlfriend are out and she gets jealous and confronts him she’s wearing flats.

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8 Responses to Jim Moran’s Son and the Case of the Assaulted High Heels

  1. spincitysd December 13, 2012 at 12:33 pm #

    Nice bit of sarcasm Taylor. And you’re right, the mechanics don’t add up. The only way that woman could fracture a nose from a simple fall is to have been a seven foot tall Amazon in 9 in stiletto heals. What a crock.

    • Taylor Marsh December 13, 2012 at 12:40 pm #

      Glad you appreciate it.

      This woman is the very definition of a dumb broad.

  2. secularhumanizinevoluter December 13, 2012 at 12:36 pm #

    Just when you think it couldn’t get any more sickening. And the people of Virginia VOTED for this scum buckets daddy…..and people wonder why I have the opinion of the “south” that I do.

  3. Cujo359 December 13, 2012 at 1:46 pm #

    Reading police report on the incident, I think that either those two officers were making up a lot of things or it happened the way they said it did. Nor do I see how breaking a heel could have led to such an injury, except by the most freakish chance imaginable.

    Until I see more evidence to the contrary, I’m going to believe the simpler story, which is that that incident happened as the police said it did. Afterward, the victim got something in exchange for her revised statement, like maybe an assurance that she wouldn’t trip and hit another trash can.

    • Taylor Marsh December 13, 2012 at 2:02 pm #

      heheheh…. Any woman who goes back to a man who pleads guilty to domestic assault is an idiot.

      • Cujo359 December 13, 2012 at 2:23 pm #

        She went back with him? If that’s the case, then I think we can assume the woman either suffers from low self-esteem, or for some other reason expects to be treated that way. Maybe she grew up around it. In any case, there’s the thing she got that she wants – back into a relationship, possibly on what she thinks of as more even terms, but back into it nonetheless.

        • Taylor Marsh December 13, 2012 at 2:32 pm #

          I have no knowledge that “she went back with him,” but I’ve researched this subject and been tangentially impacted by violence against women. I can only surmise from the girlfriend’s official “accident” statement through Moran’s office that it’s very *possible*.

.... a writer is someone who takes the universal whore of language
and turns her into a virgin again.  ~ erica jong