MITT ROMNEY used a scalpel on the man he’s trying to beat for the presidency. It was some of the best material possible for him. President Obama used a broader brush, clearly playing the role of president, not a candidate.

Enjoyed the biting wit, the charity is essential, because otherwise watching these people is impossible to do without making snide remarks. The elitism of the event, it all seems so obscene.

Rachel Maddow introduced it as if the enjoyable quips to come acually meant something. It’s positively absurd, though who can’t appreciate the material written for these two elite politicians?

President Obama is always good in these settings, but Mitt Romney’s material absolutely killed. His line about Bill Clinton is priceless.

Sections from both men, from CNN are below, with the video above capturing both segments in their entirety.

Mitt Romney:

“A campaign can require a lot of wardrobe changes. Blue jeans in the morning, perhaps. Suit for a lunch fundraiser. Sport coat for dinner. But it’s nice to finally relax and to wear what Ann and I wear around the house.”

“As President Obama surveys the Waldorf banquet room, with everyone in white tie and finery, you have to wonder what he’s thinking. So little time. So much to redistribute.”

“I never suggest that the press is biased. I recognize they have their job to do, and I have my job to do. My job is to lay out a positive vision for the future of the country, and their job is to make sure no one else finds out about it.”

“Your kind hospitality here tonight gives me a chance to convey my deep and long-held respect for the Catholic church, and special admiration for the apostle St Peter, to whom it is said, upon this rock I will build this church. the story’s all the more inspiring when you consider that he had so many skeptics and scoffers at the time who were heard to say: If you’ve got a church, you didn’t build that.”

“Our president has had some very fine and gracious moments. Don’t tell him I said so, but our 44th president has many gifts and a beautiful family that would make any man proud. In our country you can oppose someone in politics and make a confident case against their policies without an ill will. And that’s how it is for me.”

Barack Obama:

“As some of you may have noticed, I had a lot more energy in our second debate. I felt really well rested after the nice long nap I had in the first debate.”

“…there are worse things that can happen to you on your anniversary than forgetting to buy a gift.”

“Earlier today I went shopping at some stores in Midtown, I understand Gov. Romney went shopping FOR some stores in Midtown.”

“After my foreign trip in 2008, I was attacked as a celebrity, because I was so popular with our allies overseas,” he said. “I have to say I’m impressed with how well Gov. Romney has avoided that problem.”

“Actually Mitt is his middle name. I wish I could use my middle name,” he said, referring to his middle name of “Hussein.”