Chris Matthews’ Creepy Clinton Obsession
24 May 2007 12:11 am by Taylor Marsh
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| VIDEO: Chris Matthews’ Obsession |
Dear Chris Matthews,
You know, Chris, can I call you Chris? Never mind that question, because I’m
going to do it anyway. You know, I like you. You were out in front on Dick Cheney before most people, questioning his power as vice president to hijack our foreign policy. You were all over the Libby case. You even called Rudy’s statement on President Clinton’s Iraq stance this week on Letterman, “bs,” which was true. But when it comes to the Clinton marriage, I’m really starting to worry about you. This week
really was the clincher. May I suggest you watch the tape yourself? Seriously,
an intervention is needed, so let me oblige.
I’m starting to wonder if you’re getting enough. By “getting enough”
I mean, you know, marital canoodling, you know. Because your continual curiosity about the Clinton’s marital logistics is starting to, well, creep
me out.
I can’t help but wonder why you’re so worried about former President Bill Clinton
and Candidate Clinton’s possible “long-distance marriage,” and why
you find that so odd. It’s not like these two people don’t have serious jobs
that take them around the globe and often in different directions. They’re also
not newlyweds. In fact, looking at my own marriage, my husband and I talked
about the very real possibility that I would live in one place and he in another
when my radio show moves cities, as well as when my political responsibilities and travels take me elsewhere.
It didn’t phase him at all. We’d steal time when we could until we could work out something else.
MATTHEWS: What‘s their deal? What is their deal, Jonathan? You must
have done some reporting on this. Let‘s not get into the particular
human details of their relationship because who knows about any relationship,
but do they live in the same world? Are they in like what you‘d call
a long-distance marriage, where one person works in one city, the other works
in an another? How often do they actually see each other?
How much time the Clintons are spending together, especially during a red hot campaign season, is important to us, why, exactly?
MATTHEWS: Are they living on the same planet? Do they ever see each other
physically?
“Do they ever see each other physically?”
What exactly are you driving at, Chris? You recently complained about
Mike Wallace asking Mitt Romney a pre-marital sex question. Was it because he
was a reportedly religious Republican that bothered you? Is sex between Democratic
partners your only interest, especially if one of them is a woman running for
president? Let me be more blunt. Is it that you just can’t get over Monica Lewinski? Candidate Clinton (and the American people) has forgiven her husband, which I’m sure was no easy walk. What’s your problem?
“C’mon. He’d be embarrassing upstairs at the White House. So I think she’d have a hard time. I think a woman president would have to be very conservative to get elected.” – Chris Matthews
Ah, I see. A woman candidate for president needs to be conservative. That so explains your National Enquirer type questioning.
MATTHEWS: How many days of the year are they actually together in the same
roof overnight, if you will?
Or dare I ask the question, Chris? Are you not getting enough at home? Seriously,
with all due respect, maybe your marital relations just aren’t up to
snuff so peeking into the Clinton’s private world, into their very bedroom,
looking under the sheets is what gets you off. Now, I know you love “your
queen,” as you call your wife. But just maybe she’s become a little too,
ahem, frosty. Now, really, I don’t mean any disrespect, because, after
all, people do deserve their privacy, right? But all this peeping Tom political
porn on “Hardball” is starting to make me worry about your
marriage.
Oh, that’s right, you’re not a candidate for president. I also forgot just
how important it is to know the prurient details of the former president and
his presidential candidate wife’s connubial togetherness.
It also makes me wonder why you’re not obsessing about Rudy Giuliani marrying his third cousin, or why he humiliated his wife in public to such an extent that his
children have practically disowned him. I appreciate you going after Rudy’s “Giulianiisms,” but really, why does he get a pass on his marriage while the Clintons do not?
MATTHEWS: Well, how many is it? Is it 20 days a year? How many days of the
year are they actually together in the same roof overnight, if you will?ROMANO: I think—I think that I saw a report that said it was about
half a month.MATTHEWS: A year?
ROMANO: Yes. Well, a half a month every month. So whatever—half a year,
yes.MATTHEWS: Oh, really? I would recheck the reporting. …
And what is your reporting on this earth shattering issue, Mr. Matthews?
**crickets**
There seems to be something very personal in your attacks on the Clintons.
You even had to bring up the Big Dog during the GOP debate; obviously thinking
that it was so clever of you. Instead, it came off just plain creepy.
Maybe your Clinton marriage obsession is because Keith Olbermann got the first interview with Candidate Clinton,
or that you have to share the stage with Keith in all the big political events
now. Or maybe it’s because you’re suffering in the ratings, so tabloid presidential
porn press is your only hope to stay alive, especially where the Clintons are
concerned. Or maybe it’s because your friendship with Sean Hannity is taking
hold in your soul. Or maybe it’s because you’re secretly jealous of the Big Dog and want a little of what he’s got. Then again, it may be because you’re
just not getting enough at home. I wish I could help, because you certainly
need it.
MATTHEWS: You put a cover piece, so I‘m going to keep pounding on you.
Is he going to live in the White House, if they win? Why are you laughing,
Lois?ROMANO: Because—what is your obsession with logistics here? Of course,
he‘s going to live in the White House and…MATTHEWS: Because I‘m talking to three reporters, and I‘m trying
to get three straight answers, so I don‘t want attitude about this.
It‘s a point of view—I want facts. Tell me what the facts are,
Lois, if you know them. If you don‘t, I don‘t know what you‘re
arguing about.ROMANO: Of course, he‘s going to—of course, he‘s going
to—look, they‘re dancing a very delicate dance now. He doesn‘t
want to be too influential. He doesn‘t want to be around too much. He
wants to advise her. Of course they‘re going to say he‘s not going
to be at the White House 24/7 because then everybody will say, Oh, he‘s
going to be president.But I believe he‘s going to live in the White House, and I believe…
MATTHEWS: You don‘t think it‘s—Lois, you don‘t think
it‘s a relevant story for people who are going to vote in this election?ROMANO: No. I don‘t.
MATTHEWS: You don‘t think it‘s relevant whether Bill Clinton
comes back and lives in the White House. You don‘t think that‘s
relevant.ROMANO: It is relevant because people are going to be concerned that he‘s
going to be the president. People that want him to be the president will like
that, and others that don‘t like either of them will keep bringing that
up. But I mean, I think it‘s crazy to think he‘s not going to
live in the White House. Is he going to travel and do other stuff? Of course,
he‘s going to do that.MATTHEWS: I think this is a bigger issue than you think. …
Believe me, Chris, we all know you think it’s “a bigger issue.” The
question is why are you so obsessed? It’s reached the clinical point, pal. It’s time to get some
help.
Sincerely,
Just another Keith Olbermann fan.
