Jack Bauer is a Democrat
31 January 2006 12:40 pm by Taylor Marsh
When we last found our hero, Jack Bauer was saving an incompetent president
from his own top aide. An aide who was exploiting his power to support terrorist
aims to which the Clueless President was blissfully unaware, which just so happens
to be his constant state of being. Clueless President was just too busy barking
orders at everyone beneath him to listen to the truth, which was right
under his own nose the whole time.
Sound familiar?
The reason I bring this up today is that Rush Limbaugh and the Republicans
have decided that Jack Bauer is a Republican. Today on the air, Rush Limbaugh
of all people, started talking about how tough Jack Bauer is, while inferring
he’s one of them. Like Rush would know about bravery. His idea of courage is
skipping his Oxycontin daily dozen.
 |
| Jack Bauer is a Democrat. |
Meet your reality, Mr., Mrs. and Ms. Republican. Jack Bauer continually saves Clueless
President from himself, thus saving the nation from the incalculable incompetence
of a man who should never have been president. Sound like any situation you know?
Rush, your man is Terror Guy. Jack Bauer is a Democrat.
Jack Bauer is a renegade American patriot who has no trouble in talking back
to authority. He will risk his own life to save his country.
Terror Guy would force him to resign, then have him arrested.
Jack isn’t afraid to have strong men who disagree with him as friends and colleagues.
Clueless President fired a former president, who happened to be black, once
he’d saved him from a nuclear calamity. He didn’t want him around to tell the
tale of what happened.
Like Clueless President, Terror Guy muzzles the only black general to serve
in his cabinet, reducing Colin Powell to a puppet secretary of state, all because
he dissented from Terror Guy’s talking points, however meekly.
Jack Bauer would have resigned rather than listen to lies, distort the truth
and basically abet Terror Guy’s faulty justification for preemption. Hey, but that’s Jack.
Jack Bauer and the former black president, now dead by an assassins bullet,
thanks to Clueless President’s inability to see what his own people were doing
under his nose, once saved Clueless President when terrorists were about to nuke
the country. Then the former black president helped Jack to escape because Clueless
President, once out of the jam, was prepared to go after Jack.
Terror Guy doesn’t accept help, doesn’t admit reliance on anyone and always
claims victory for his own. He is an egomaniac.
Jack Bauer is a humble rebel with a cause. Not a pompous ass that is clueless.
Jack Bauer loves strong women, respects them and listens to them.
Terror Guy loves strong women as long as they agree with him.
Jack Bauer, however unwise, willingly put himself in place of the teenage kid
of a woman who befriended him, because he’s fearless and willing to die for
someone else, not to mention the country he loves.
Terror Guy has never been willing to die for his country or anyone else. He
never met a war he wouldn’t duck and is much more comfortable sending others
to die for his lie.
Jack Bauer never lies.
Terror Guy wouldn’t recognize the truth if it was strapped on and rammed down
his presidential pie hole.
Jack Bauer speaks his mind, knows the facts and isn’t afraid to let Clueless
President have it.
Terror Guy would be threatened by Jack Bauer. His Dick would be scared of his
independence. So, they would mount a campaign to discredit the American patriot.
Jack Bauer is the underdog. He’s the hero. He is a Democrat.
UPDATE – 1.16.07: “24″ is back, but will the wingnuts turn on him? Stay tuned…
